this blog belongs to me, what is here is for mine to keep,
memories which i want to preserve, to keep,to cherish,
and to love, feast your eyes on my tales, but warn you i do dare,
to be honest,to criticise and say what i desire,. my life is unveiled,
exposed, to you...
[about moi].
this garden belongs to cilliness
Age:`18
Born in:`Singapore
Grew up in:`Philippines
[loves]
`to dance
`to dream
`to draw
`to cheer
`to eat beef, potatoes and tomatoes
`to listen to music
`outdoor activites
`my family
`my friends
`Clique 5 + one guy
`Teddy! x]
[Searching for]
`True Love
`the real me
`peace and rest
[The threads of my net]
.im a girl who nobody knows.
.nobody knows the real me.
.nobody knows who i really am.
.living another person's life.
.a soul in another body.
.wanting to break free.
.like a butterly tangled in a net.
.i never dared to break free.
.afraid of rejection.
.always wearing a mask to fit in.
.so stressed up.
.i want my life back.
.one thing i am sure of.
.i love my family.
.love them more than i love myself.
.i love teddy, oh yes i do.
.miss my old friends.
.miss the memories.
.miss my old life.
.miss the old times.
.when i was free.
.when i could let my hair down.
.when i could be just me.
.torn butterfly.
dont leave me [alone again]
[people in moi net.]
[links]
Adele
AiZat
Annabelle
AqhARi
BenEdiCt
cHaRmAiNeX
Cheng Earn
CheRine
EuGene
HaFidZ
HuiShi
JaNAnI
Janice-LiLing
Jillian
Ji ShEng
Joel
Ju Lin-GreenAngel*
KoOnz
Kt
LyU-sis*
Marcus
MayguSs
MelIssA*
MelIsSaLiNg
NeLsoN
RoNg Hua-Uncle
RongYao
Sarah
Stephanie-YanLing
WanQian
WeiJiE
YiBiN
Zuraida
.
[moi]
Friday, June 16, 2006
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| hello people! haha. how are you all doing during your holidays? haha i know ju's really busy, some of us are busy doing projects or working, others are playing mindless computer games all day, and some are so fortunate that they can spend time with their loving partner. haiz. i wish i could spend time with teddy. i miss him so much. sob sob. and im leaving for bintan this sunday. won't be able to see him till i get back. sigh. anyway, just to update some of the stuff that has happened. hehe the friday before exams week. after sch i quickly rushed to meet my aunt in town. on the way mt a pervertic indian man. shit ass. i was sitting opposite him. he took out his phone and i saw it was in camera mode. i should have confronted him, but i don't know what held me back. shit ass. im not sure whether he did or did not take a photo. he saw i looked at him and quickly directed his phone in another direction. and got iff the next stop. argh! stupid lucille! next time you better don't let such perverts go! embarass him! kick him where it hurts!!!! met my aunt outside tangs, we went to eat at spageddies. i had crayfish pasta ans passion fruit italian soda. really good. she had some appetisers only, she had a heavy breakfast. haha. then we went to bcbg, showed her the dress i reserved for her. she liked it. haha. she bought it and another pink top which was gorgeous and she could fit into a small! whoopee! haha. actually the cutting was just big lah. haha. but she was happy. then we went to wisma to check out what other stuff there were. nothing nice. went to fcuk. nothing nice. bebe. nothing fits right. then we went to sha house, she went to get movie tickets for xmen 3 for her and her bf. she asked whether i want to i said nah, it's alright. haha. she brought me to muddy murphy's irish pub for a drink. had kilkenny. quite nice. it's smooth. saw the guys checking out the waitresses. sheesh. i finished a pint while she ordered another one. we chatted over stuff we missed out. about what we're going to do on our vacation. haha. finally can relax. weeeeeeee....... haha. then we left after she finished her drink and when her bf called her. haha. i went to catch the bus 36 while she walked back to lido. reached home, bathed, had dinner,then went to sleep. too tired to study. haha. exam week oh man. screwed most of my papers. argh. stupid accounts. i wrote one line for an 8 mak question! wth. i didn't see the marks given. argh. marketing, so so. not very confident though. csa, alright, couldn't answer most questions, expected. haha. cw didn't come! smarty pants. haha.econs, don't want to talk about it. pom, so so. haiz. not one confident. haiz. im so dead! june 9 [friday] went out after exams. i didn't go with my classmates. i wanted to spend time with teddy. but we took the same bus as them down to town. haha.hui shi was super high. haha. teddy and i ate at pasta mania. we ordered basil chicken 10' pizza and spaghetti bolognaise. drink we had ice lemon tea and passion fruit italian soda. im in love with italian sodas. haha. we were super full. haha. after lunch we watched the omen. pretty freaky. i got freaked out at the part at the graveyard where the dogs ran out and attacked the guys. sad ending. -shivers- we walked around a while more. he sent me to the bus stop. i was crying already cuz i don't know when i could see him again. sobs. he was tearing too. i couldn't control myself, tears just kept pouring. haiz. i kept telling myself nothing will happened. we'll be fine. but it's kinda hard to control. i just love him so much.... weekends just work and work and work. sales times not as busy as end of year sale. sales not so good. sigh. oh well. just as long they still pay me it's alright. june 12 [monday] went out with teddy! haha. he lied to his mom that he was going to sch. i had to use another person's hp to msg him so his mom won't know it was me. oops. haha. and i bluffed my parents i went to work. hehe we met at city hall, took a walk to the esplanade first, walked to the merlion, then walked back, took our time to walk to suntec, had our lunch at subway, enjoyed the scenery at the garden on top, sat there for a while and chatted. we would miss each other really badly. sigh. yeah i know, to others it's not a big thing, but to us, it is. he's worried about my safety and stuff. you know, all those ferry accidents recently. haiz. i assured him i would be fine. i pray that i would. im too young to ***!!!! haha then i bought a tee...again! im always buying tops! stop it lucille! argh! but it's really cute. it has this adorable bear in front. haha. oh well. haha. teddy and i then went to take the train. he sent me to my grandma's place. we went to fix my specs first. then he left, so sad. sobs. i almost cried. im going to miss him lots. haiz. when i reached my grandma's place, she wasn't around. so disappointed. my two notorious cosuins where there. and they kept irritating me. argh!they played with my hariband, my specs and stuff. argh! i got so fed up and left. haiz.so i went to parkway first. walked around. couldn't find any nice jeans. haiz. i ended up spending 10.80 at ig's heaven on things i don't really need. they were having promotion. spend 10 bucks on those cute bear stuff you know, the cds, greeting cards and stuff and you'll get a poster free. it's so adorable. i couldn't resist. haha. oops! went back, wanted to kick myself in the ass. keep telling myself this is the last time for spedning so much. i won't do it again! i have spent lik over 400 bucks! shit man. and it's going up to 500 cuz i want to buy papillio footwear, and jeans. i desperately need jeans! june 13 [tuesday] went out with mel! weee! haha. long time no see! haha. we went to wheelock place, birkenstock to check our sizes cuz we wanna order online. got our sizes, then we left. haha.we went to pac plaza. she was looking for wallet. she spotted the bronze one. not sure whether to get it yet. went to far east plaza. walked around level one. decided to eat waffles later cuz it was half-price day at gelare. saw a pretty hot bikini at the bikini shop near artiris. but i have enough bikinis. haha. shoppped for mel's top. she needed something retro for the 60s party her friend was having. we saw one nice one at mango, but 40 bucks. so wen wanted to look around more before we decide. finally we spotted one. the cut was good. cheaper then the mango one, well she may not wear it that often. and less complicated then the mango one. so she got it. haha. i saw one nice brown top for 15.90. however, not allowed to try. fine, im destined not to get any more tops! haha. then had a full lunch at gelare. head down to heeren. got some sugarcane drinks from tangs on the way. bumped into adele at num! haha. what a surprise. then went to minibits. she went to get her retro green hair band. haha. saw yang ling. mel tried some skirts, but none of them fitted nicely. the one she wanted didn't have her size. sad. flash and splash didn't have nothing nice. went to urs, wanted to get that pair of brown flip flops but the strap for my size was loose. i don't want a size smaller, look weird. so we went to novo at paragon. got the white sandals instead. atleast i don't have to wear the same paiur of footwear to sch anymore. haha. it was 4, had to go for work. mel went to flash and splash on the 3rd floor. not sure whether she got anything. haha. met my new colleague, eve. very bubbly, friendly and always smiling. really nice to wrok with. she just graduated from tp, sch of it! haha my senior. haha. =] june 14 [wednesday] went to work in the morn. karen was pretty shock with the way i dressed. haha. i was wearing a pair of jeans, brown tube with beads and my brown cap which julin got for me from korea. haha. after work went to meet my friends, adele and chong wei for dinner. but turned out im the only one eating cuz they ate before they came. oh well. sarah was sick, so she couldn't make it. so sad. hui shi, joshua and jian hai will meet us at butter factory later. haha. then sis msged me told me she needed her ic back. oh ya. i was using my sis' ic to get in. cuz i will only turn 18 in sept. haha. but i still got in! haha. when adele cw and i went to clarke quay we had a hard time to get a cab. shitty cabs. it was only after several crossing of streets and tonnes of flagging then we got a cab. phew. took it to butter factory. got in. (weeeeeeeeeeeee!),took a cab to mos to pass sis back her ic. then we waited by the bridge for the rest. jian hai was the last to arrive. hha. but we all managed to get in. weeeeeee! haha. it's time to paaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrttttyyy! =] the club was small, not so crowded, but the music was loud. we ordered drinks, even though im allergic to vodka i still ordered cranberry vodka. just a little amount it's alright...i guess..haha. us girls started dancing first. we were not that shy, lots of 'lesbian' dancing and touchy touchy stuffs. haha. then we finished our drinks, dragged the guys to dance. joshua and jian hai were alright but not cw. haha. he claims he doesn't know how to and doesn't know what to do. so, adele dragged him to the bar, ordered another drink. then he started getting a little high and grooved a little. but after a while he was fine and could move easily. haha. we danced ias a group, though joshua and hui shi did some of their own couple stuff. haha. we still had fun. =] some guys popped out asked whether we wanted to dance with them, but nah, not for me, and hui shi has joshua, so only adele danced with that guy in the white tee. haha. after about an hour of dancing, the music was getting boring and it was repeating so we rested for a while, went to the toilet, watched the people dance. when good music was played, we got on our feet again and danced, well, only us girls. guys were pretty tired. haha. chong wei looked so cute with a handbag sling on each shoulder while sleeping. haha. the two jerls wearing red tees kept eyeing us and kept dancing near us, so we move everytime they move closer. so disgusting, they kept following us around. ugh. haha. later we saw how bored the guys were so we dragged them back. adele and i 'sandwiched' cw. haha. he was blushing lah. haha. his duel with adele was hot. haha. around 3 am the crowd was getting lesser. less people were dacning. so we left. rested our feet outside the club. that was when i realised my knees hurt. haha. oh well. adele went to meet her sis.hui shi and joshua went their own way, cw, jian hai and i shared a cab. dropped cw off first then me then jian hai. we were all very sleepy. haha. my knees hurt so badly i had to walk like some old lady. it hurt the most when i was climbing or going down the stairs. quickly bathed and i just went to sleep with my hair wet, i couldn't be bothered. haha. june 15 [thursday] my mom woke me up around 10. bloody hell. i want to sleep! haiz. she told me we're going to my grandma's place for lunch. nobody's cooking at home. so i dragged myself across the floor. dressed up quickly. and i was even faster than my brothers and mom. sheesh. when i reached my grandma's place i ate my lunch then went back to sleep. hehe. slept for about 2 hours plus. woke up at 3. ate again then went to work. yawnz. another boring day at work. alright that's all for now. my bro wanna use the com. will update soon..i guess... haha enjoy your holidays! =] =ch!lz= cille i hope to catch you with my net before you leave mi 2:43 AM |
butterfly [dreams]
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