this blog belongs to me, what is here is for mine to keep,
memories which i want to preserve, to keep,to cherish,
and to love, feast your eyes on my tales, but warn you i do dare,
to be honest,to criticise and say what i desire,. my life is unveiled,
exposed, to you...
[about moi].
this garden belongs to cilliness
Age:`18
Born in:`Singapore
Grew up in:`Philippines
[loves]
`to dance
`to dream
`to draw
`to cheer
`to eat beef, potatoes and tomatoes
`to listen to music
`outdoor activites
`my family
`my friends
`Clique 5 + one guy
`Teddy! x]
[Searching for]
`True Love
`the real me
`peace and rest
[The threads of my net]
.im a girl who nobody knows.
.nobody knows the real me.
.nobody knows who i really am.
.living another person's life.
.a soul in another body.
.wanting to break free.
.like a butterly tangled in a net.
.i never dared to break free.
.afraid of rejection.
.always wearing a mask to fit in.
.so stressed up.
.i want my life back.
.one thing i am sure of.
.i love my family.
.love them more than i love myself.
.i love teddy, oh yes i do.
.miss my old friends.
.miss the memories.
.miss my old life.
.miss the old times.
.when i was free.
.when i could let my hair down.
.when i could be just me.
.torn butterfly.
dont leave me [alone again]
[people in moi net.]
[links]
Adele
AiZat
Annabelle
AqhARi
BenEdiCt
cHaRmAiNeX
Cheng Earn
CheRine
EuGene
HaFidZ
HuiShi
JaNAnI
Janice-LiLing
Jillian
Ji ShEng
Joel
Ju Lin-GreenAngel*
KoOnz
Kt
LyU-sis*
Marcus
MayguSs
MelIssA*
MelIsSaLiNg
NeLsoN
RoNg Hua-Uncle
RongYao
Sarah
Stephanie-YanLing
WanQian
WeiJiE
YiBiN
Zuraida
.
[moi]
Monday, September 04, 2006
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| hello people!!! haha. finally back. anyway. suppose to talk about the dinner right? ok i'll try to make it short and sweet. try....haha fri night went to my grandm's place to stay. played with my cousins min xue and min min. sat woke up early to study pom. but nothing could go into my head. had durian in the afternoon. then couldn't sleep at nigh. my grandma and i chatted on the bed till 12 plus. haha. woke up early on sun despite that i didn't get enough sleep last night. continued studying. when i finished all the chapters i fell asleep. woke up when julin came. continued to revise. went for the dinner at 6:30. the place was at yck. my grandpa's fav restaurant. altogther there was 6 tables. all my relatives where there (mother side). everything was going alright till some comments were made and killed the joyous atmosphere. oh well. the food wasn't that great either. too salty. argh. but glad to see my relatives. we usually see each other during chi new year only. sad. i know. oh well. took the cab hme. oh yeah my mom wasn't able to attend the dinner. she wasn't feeling well. poor mum. so it was just me, my sis and the two little monkeys. argh. nothing about pom went into my head. shhhit. what am i to do? well. that was it. pretty short eh. hahaha. now...for the party.............. haha. it didn't go well at first..then it was fun...then the climax dropped real fast thanks to someone. argh. i am so never going to talk to him again. do i sound bitchy? who cares! teddy bluffed his mom he was going to visit hanafi at the hospital. he actually went out with me. haha. oops. anyway. met at somerset. i was late. shhit. bought my bus concession. we went to the heeren. walked around. saw mel. haha. she looked like she was carry a bomb. thank god her box was see through. haha. then we went to cine. decided to watch a movie. bored of town anyway. we were deciding between the break up and the devil wears prada. finally decided on the devil wears prada. good choice. quite funny. interesting. and i find it quite true too. hard to juggle between courier and your personal life. need a very understanding man. haiz..love the clothes andrea wore. especially that white shirt with a black off shoulder. and the dress. oh i just love them all. haha. oh and i love the part where she slams her coat and bag on the table. haha. hilarious. oh and can you imagine how cold it was in there? i was only wear a tank top and shorts!!! brrrrr..thank gd i have teddy. haha. he's big enough to keep me warm. x] since we were freezing after the show, we walked to plaza singapura. saw an qi. she was surprised to see us. haha. went to spotlight. was looking for the small wooden wreath to display eggs. couldn't find it at all. argh. but the importatnt thing is that i was able to spend time with my darling teddybear. =] went to mac for a quick dinner. then teddy sent me to the mrt station. said goodbye. sobs. when will i get to see him again? sigh...............=[ met yeo-koh, swee siong, jian hai, hui shi,sarah and adele at harbour front. we went to the food court to have dinner. i had mine already. haha. chong wei was late. but he was the best dressed dude among us. haha. oh and adele too. =] hot dress. i just look super weird in a dress. no idea why. haha. after dinner we decided to get a drink first, get a lil high before entering the party. haha. so we went to cold storage and buy our drinks. brought it to sentosa. saw my friend jy, my gl from tpsu. haha. then we had our drinks outside the fountain, at the staircase. then we went in. checked out the stalls. nothing much. most of them are selling food. the guys bought food to eat. haha. then hui shi, adele, sarah and i went mad. skipping in the maze.did a catwalk and posed for photos. haha. hilarious. then we walked around. went back to the stalls where the guys were. the guys didn't budge at all. lazy asses. haha. swee siong had the tp mass dance song. he played it and i danced to it. haha. i still rem the steps! weeeeeeeeeeee!!! it was 10 plus. no one was dancing yet. was getting bored. so us girls tried to dance with this other group of girls. then they stopped. we wanted to stopped too but this group of malay guys danced with us so we continued to dance. then i saw hairul...they were actually hairul's friends. haha. what a place to bump into him. haha.we danced. but the songs were getting boring. actually, they are boring. some stupid fashion show was going to start so everyone stopped dancing. we watched the show. just a bunch of guys and girls baring skin. not really nice. but the songs was good. they played sexy back. ooh la la....haha. spotted niven in the crowd. but he disappeared after that. haha. then there was a challenge for couples. 3 pairs went up. A and C was a normal couple, B was 2 malay guys trying to be funny. they has to lick whipped cream of their partners body. ugh...imagine the sweat and hair!!! bleahkx!! after the 'fashion' show, the guys and i went to grab another bottle of beer. the girls had enough. chong wei was the slowest to finish his drink. haha. then the girls arrived. they said it was boring in there. nothing was going on. so they ordered another bottle of beer too. we chatted. talked about what was the most important thing to us in a relationship. my answer: communication. very important. that was what happened to me and yq. no communication face to face. i don't like it. it sucked. so what if he gave me my first bouquet of flowers and gave me a stalk of purple or blue rose every day in sch. no communication. it won't work. and i looked like a total bitch fater i dumped him. everyone shook their heads and started gossiping whenever they see me. sick. oh well. now i am with teddy. atleast we do talk. and he is funny. believe me. haha. =] after our drink we went back in. this time more people were dancing so us girls just jumped right in and started dancing too. it was so fun. we were dancing with the group of malay guys again but this time different partners. i was dancing with this malay guy in white board shorts. he smelt kinda funny. like vomit. or rotten milk. but i didn't really care that time. we danced for a few hours but the songs were getting boring so i rested a while. didn't manage to dance with hairul though. shucks. the guys just sat there, watch people dance and lesbians kiss. goodness. they are still not high enough. haiz...haha but one good thing is that they can look after my bag so i could dance freely. i could smell the puke like smell on my shirt. ugh. it was only when i reached home, lying on my bed then i realised it was whipped cream. the guy whom i danced with was the one who had whipped cream smothered all over his body. ugh........................... when we decided to dance again we danced with hong yi (guy from my course but from another class) and his friends. i didn't want to dance with the malay guys already..why? shall not say....girls who know...shhhhhhhhh......just between us. okie? ok. this time i danced till i was dying of thirst. my throat just felt completely dry. so hui shi and i went out to buy mineral water. soft drinks will make me even more thirsty.we sat at the bench. rested. then the rest came out again. haha. we kept going in and out in and out. not our fault. toilets are outside and so are the drinks. haha. few mins passed. we went back in again. danced. rest. danced. rest. music was repeating. gettin g kinda bored. we left the party for good at around 5.bought water again. rested at the benches. cleaned my feet and sandals. it was all muddy and 'grassy'. when we were about to leave, i saw someone i never thought i would bump into. mel, you won't believe who i saw. it was DARYL LOH. i kinda forgot he was 16 already. haha. but doesn't he have o levels? sheesh. i couldn't believe my eyes. hopefully he didn't see me dance. i doubt he danced anyway.he can dance? oh well. hahaha! walked to the bus stop at 6. found out the bus only arrives at 7. so we walked all the way from musical fountain to the bridge. when we were walking we realised the nice songs are playing. argh. sarah and i were singing pump it, hey ya and other fun songs..haha..along the way was spooky places and weird sounds....freaky.....................!!!!!!!!!! idiot jian hai kept mentioning about those things despite warning him if he spoke another word about them i would slap him. argh! idiot. but that wasn't the worse yet. worst part was near the bridge. at the sid of the bridges was this old building. lots of bushes. very dark. when we were walking through the pathway in that dark place jian hai was pointing out to the hous and said he saw a lady. i shhoooshed him but he said "ok ok but look i really see a lady!" IDIOT! I SAID SHUT UP ALREADY STILL SAY! i was so freakd out so i grabbed sarah's hand and ran pass jian hai and grabbed yeo koh's hand. idiot. then we walked through that creappy path for nothing, it was the wrong way to the bridge. argh! we had to walk pass that house again! and that jian hai was still talking and pointing towards the 'lady'. i was so freaked out. then i looked at the this statue beside tha path, my mind was playing tricks on me, i thought it was a manand it looked like it was about to stand up and grab me, then i heard sarah scream so i screamed too! yeo-koh got freaked out by us so three of us just ran out of the bushes. i am so no walking in sentosa at night ever again!!! argh!!! thanks to jian hai lah. freaked me out. sarah and i were so pissed off with jian hai that we ignored him and continued walking to the bridge. when we were half way on the birdge we saw the shuttle bus drove pass us. so infuriating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we could have saved all that walk and nightmare!!!! argh!!!!! we were all exhausted already lah. hmph. i wished teddy was there to hold me so i wouldn't be afraid. haiz. all the way out i was thinking of him so i wouldn't imagine things again. enough screaming for one night. when we were in the train i almost fell asleep. actually i did. haha. so tired. luckily i didn't fall asleep on the bus. reached home about 7. all i could think of was to remove that stench from my body and clothes!!! took a quick bath but scrubbed hard. went to sleep with my hair wet. who cares. yawnz.......then i remembered that the stench was actually whipped cream. ugh......yawnz...couldn't wake up in time for the business ambassador interview. who cares. wasn't interested in it anyway. adele and sarah actually called me and they manged to go for the interview. i felt so lousy lah. they still went for the interview and i didn't. haha. oh well. good luck if you girls got in. haha. i only woke up at 2. ate lunch. watched dvd, mr and mrs smith and date movie. date movie is super cheesey. i cannot believe that could even make such movie. it's not funny at all. not one bit.sunday. went to work. was a bit late. thanks to dad. katren said i slimmed down! whooppeee!!! =] haha. oh and i have a knew colleague to work with, jasmine, she was transferred to our boutique from paul and joe. paul and joe have nice stuff ok. love the cosmetic packaging. monday have no work. slept till late too. went to mac for lunch. went to popular to get foolscap paper.went home. arranged my stuff. it was kinda messy. but atleast mine wasn' all over tha place! haha. watched scary movie 4 and barnyard with my sis.i just want to stick my hand into the tv screen and slap and strangle the actor and actress. it is so farking lame!!!!!!! ahhh!!!!!! after watching the movie i felt more angry than being relax. mad directors. argh!!! tuesday. woke up at 7. went to the market at amk for prata. went to do my hair. haha. would not tell you what i did yet. haha. took me 7 long hours. then went to my grandma's place. i couldn't believe my eyes. jun zhi and jun rong was there. shit. my bros, jun zhi, jun rong, and jen sen started makng fun of my hair. wth. i ahte them man. i can't stand them. just want to slap their faces. i've tolerated long enough. no respect for me at all. assholes. was looking forward for the buffet lah. now with them along. how am i going to enjoy my meal? julin was late. jun zhi vomited. he was feeling sick. i doubt my grandma enjoyed the meal at all. argh. and i stuffed myself. i feel so fat now. haiz. oh well. better swim and blade soon. k. gtg. see you girls on thurs! can't wait! =] =ch!lz= cille i hope to catch you with my net before you leave mi 5:16 AM |
butterfly [dreams]
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