this blog belongs to me, what is here is for mine to keep,
memories which i want to preserve, to keep,to cherish,
and to love, feast your eyes on my tales, but warn you i do dare,
to be honest,to criticise and say what i desire,. my life is unveiled,
exposed, to you...
[about moi].
this garden belongs to cilliness
Age:`18
Born in:`Singapore
Grew up in:`Philippines
[loves]
`to dance
`to dream
`to draw
`to cheer
`to eat beef, potatoes and tomatoes
`to listen to music
`outdoor activites
`my family
`my friends
`Clique 5 + one guy
`Teddy! x]
[Searching for]
`True Love
`the real me
`peace and rest
[The threads of my net]
.im a girl who nobody knows.
.nobody knows the real me.
.nobody knows who i really am.
.living another person's life.
.a soul in another body.
.wanting to break free.
.like a butterly tangled in a net.
.i never dared to break free.
.afraid of rejection.
.always wearing a mask to fit in.
.so stressed up.
.i want my life back.
.one thing i am sure of.
.i love my family.
.love them more than i love myself.
.i love teddy, oh yes i do.
.miss my old friends.
.miss the memories.
.miss my old life.
.miss the old times.
.when i was free.
.when i could let my hair down.
.when i could be just me.
.torn butterfly.
dont leave me [alone again]
[people in moi net.]
[links]
Adele
AiZat
Annabelle
AqhARi
BenEdiCt
cHaRmAiNeX
Cheng Earn
CheRine
EuGene
HaFidZ
HuiShi
JaNAnI
Janice-LiLing
Jillian
Ji ShEng
Joel
Ju Lin-GreenAngel*
KoOnz
Kt
LyU-sis*
Marcus
MayguSs
MelIssA*
MelIsSaLiNg
NeLsoN
RoNg Hua-Uncle
RongYao
Sarah
Stephanie-YanLing
WanQian
WeiJiE
YiBiN
Zuraida
.
[moi]
Monday, September 25, 2006
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| hey people.....long tims since i blogged. holidays are getting boring at the moment. some friends have alreday started sch. cant meet up. haiz. oh well. the next exciting thing would be my class chalet. haha. can't wait to see you people!!! i haven't meet up anyone from my class yet. oops! haha. i bet all of us are busy with our own stuff. i know srah, adele, cheryl, xiao ling, ya wen, hui shi and annabelle are definitely working. im not sure about the rest. hehe. slacking? playing all day long? oh yeah. i forgot to wish chong wei good luck for his sup papers. darn. oh well. that boy has learned his lesson, he will work hard for his sups. hopefully.... oh well. days has been the same these few days. work. nothing much. Thursday went to work. came back with very bad blister thanks to that pair of new heels. ugh. even when i only wore it for an hour in total. darn. on my way home i was so tempted to take them off and walk home bare footed. haiz. wanted to ask my sis to bring me a pair of comfy slippers at the bus stop but she was out partying. oh well. walk home from the bus stop never seemed that long, and painful. i though i would have enough surprises the entire day. but i was wrong. i'll keep this for the next entry. Friday went to work. fell asleep on the bus. really tired. exhausted. i was robbed 3 hours of sleep. but my colleagues made the day better for me. Thank god for giving me such wonderful colleagues. we wear rearranging the floorset. new concept to try. but rearranging the floorset didn't bring in any cash. at all. from the time we started at 10 till i left at 6, we have not made a single sale. shit or what?! we were desperate. really. i tried my best to find some little things to do like ironing wrinkled items, tidying up the racks, and arrange the hangers nicely. haiz. sad day indeed. and there were so many transfers. argh. hello. please ask your customers to walk over. we haven't made a single sale. what really pissed me off was one customer. she reserved a dress from me and said she''ll walk around PARAGON to look at others if she can't find any she'll come back and buy from me. BUT i don't know how she walked to wisma and BOUGHT IT AT WISMA INSTEAD! ARGH! we could have made a sale!!! when my colleague told me wisma called just now and said the customer don't want to reserve already i couldn't believe my ears. i called back and clarified with them. yup. she bought it there. i was so damn pissed. they trasneferred four items from us already loh. oh well. that's the way it is. went home. really exhausted. fell asleep on the bus. lucky didn't miss my stop. Saturday wish i could have woke up later but i had to go to ju's place. help her draw a sketch for her project. yawns. you owe me one ju ju! haha. went out with teddy after that. it's our 10th month anniversary! hehe. i am so happy!!! =] he's really the best guy i have ever been with and i am pretty sure he'll be the one forever. haha. thinking too far? i don't think so. he's done so much for me. shed so much tears. so many heartaches but none them are his fault. he loves me for who i am. how many guys would say i look beautiful with that disgusting wild hair of mine while looking at me in the eye? who actually says that i am still beautiful with all that dark rings around my eyes? who actually says he like my tummy and will still love with all his heart even if i grew fatter? who actually fell in love with me when i was at my ugliest? him. only him. that's why i can never lose him. i would go crazy if i did. the only thing that is keeping us apart and breaking our hearts is his mom. she won't allow us to be together. saying it will affect his studies. when he asked me what will happen to us if his mom finds out we are still together and confiscates his handphone, i cried. i couldn't help it. the thought of me not able to hear his voice or speak to him is too much. i told him even if it breaks my heart, i still love him with all my heart. i will still wait for him. why? because i can't live without him. it's true. i am crying right now. i tried my best to hold back the tears when we were on the train home. i burst into tears when we reached the void deck of my garndma's place. i held him tight. told him no matter what his mom MUST NOT find out. i can't live a day without knowing he's alright but i will still love him no matter what.he held me closely and cried too. he said he won't be able to handle it too. he will do what ever he can so that his mom won't know. we stood there for minutes. it was late. he must go. i don't him to get scolded by his mom. we left with tears still in our eyes and kissed goodbye. i wonder when will be the next time i see him... he gave me a box. inside was filled with 99 paper hearts he folded everyday early in the morn.it made me cry again.i really don't want his mom to find out. she must not. she can not. cried myself to sleep. Sunday woke with my eyes swollen. stayed in bed hoping they would get better. i was suppose to go my great grandpa's place right? but didn't. he was in the hospital the day before. or two. forgot. he fell down again. haiz. luckily he didn't knowck his head that hard. he would have..left.. that'll be sad. he's lucky to have survived for his age, 91 not 90. i went to ttsh with my aunt, grandma and sis, didn't talk to her at all. you'll know why in my next entry. stayed at the hospital till 7 plus. had dinner at the kopitiam there. my uncle drove me and my grandma back. bathed. packed my stuff. then went back home. next day got work. alright.that's all for now. i gtg. need to get some stuff. toodles. take care people. =ch!lz= cille i hope to catch you with my net before you leave mi 10:52 PM |
butterfly [dreams]
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